I'll Have To Surrender My Frikkin Spleen

The Library Police are after me:

Library records show the following item(s) overdue. If you have returned them, please excuse this notice. Otherwise, please return them as soon as possible to avoid increasing fines.
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[redacted]

At notice printing you have 3 items overdue.
Outstanding balance = $54.00

Books. Nothing. But. Books!

Videos? No!

CDs? No!

Loose librarianettes? Hell no!

Just. Frikkin. Books!

But the joke is on them: My spleen has been gone for decades!

(Law of Compensation: Hence my entire body is now one big spleen.)