Even so, something crossed my eyes about it that grabbed my attention:
PHELPS' PIG SECRET: HE'S BOY GORGE
Phelps' diet - which involves ingesting 4,000 calories every time he sits down for a meal - resembles that of a reckless overeater rather than an Olympian.
Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.
He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.
At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread - capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.
For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs - what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen - with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza.
He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.
Yow! What is his blood cholesterol level?
What's worse, though, is all that fat!
Yes, yes, I can already see people reading this perched over their keyboards waiting to pounce on me, thinking I've ignored the fact he's more active than 99.9% of human beings.
Fine, then simply color me jealous.
Damned arteries of mine.
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