Friday, September 12, 2008

Debut Episode Of Fox TV's Fringe

Even though I got the "authorized" Internet leak on Sunday, I didn't actually get around to watching it til today. Which is four days after it appeared on television.

Still, I think the world must be warned!


Hello. Welcome to Fringe. No, this is not an ad for soda!


This is important. Please engage the Auto Pilot of your brain.


From time to time, we will display ...


... what we technically term ...


... Big-Ass Dumbass Titles ...


... some of which will look like fucking UFOs hovering over a city ...


.. and will sometimes be angled to make them cool and hard to read ...


... and will sometimes be positioned to make you go WTF?!!!? ...


... all in order to disguise the fact we are doing ...


... a third-rate rip-off of the The X-Files!


Please meet our cliches: An FBI agent too stupid to realize her lover is a turncoat who will be blown up in the first act ...


... the evil twin, because, you know, there was a writer's strike and this shit can't be expected to be good, can it? ...


.. and the oooooh mysterious world-dominating corporation because, like fuck, we did tell you to put your brain on Auto Pilot, right?


And if you ignored our advice, you probably feel like this by the end of our stupid fucking script. Sorry, Charlie, no refund on the one hour and twenty-one minutes you wasted!


If you want to see really good TV, change the channel to Spongebob.

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