The Library Police are after me:
Library records show the following item(s) overdue. If you have returned them, please excuse this notice. Otherwise, please return them as soon as possible to avoid increasing fines.
At notice printing you have 3 items overdue.
Outstanding balance = $54.00
Books. Nothing. But. Books!
Loose librarianettes? Hell no!
Just. Frikkin. Books!
But the joke is on them: My spleen has been gone for decades!
(Law of Compensation: Hence my entire body is now one big spleen.)